How public transportation nightmares make Transantiago look good

I do my fair share of complaining about the public transportation in Santiago. You know, crowded this, no seats that, can't squeeze your way out and all. But after reading Kelly's (formerly of DC and Santiago and now getting by in Guatemala) bus stories I realized that Santiago has it pretty good.

In fact, her post remind me of when I studied in Venezuela and I had to catch the bus every morning to the institute where I was studying Spanish. My morning commute in Mérida, Venezuela looked more like the scene from Romancing the Stone where she gets on the bus in Colombia and rides out into the jungle (minus the chickens and assorted farm animals. The chicken guy usually walked:p) than it did the relatively tame (in comparison) Santiago bus scene.

First, bus stops were not marked most of the time. Some of the bigger ones had benches, but others seemed to be nothing more than a previously agreed upon spot to congregate.

Second, most of the buses had more in common with large vans than with real buses. They sported handmade signs in the front window which were supposed to clearly identify the route or not. I remember being on one once when we must have gotten to the end of the route (but I had not recognized my stop), and the driver got out, changed the sign, and proceeded to drive me silent and terrified through a shanty town on a different route.

Then, after that, you would wait at the bench or in the clump of people for your bus, pay the driver, and hopefully take a seat. If you didn't get a seat, chances are that you would eventually be pushed to the stairs and the door of a moving bus by the other passengers were high.

When you eventually saw your stop you would have to scream "LA PARADA!"(the stop!) at the top of your lungs. Next, the driver would size you up, decide whether enough people wanted off (or whether it was just one lone gringa traveler), and keep driving or stop.

That is actually where I first learned the meaning of the term "gringo treatment" because too often buses (that were nearly empty) would speed past me and never stop or drivers would not let me off when they heard my accent which sounded more like "LA PALARA!" God forbid I would have to add a por favor to the end of that. Sometimes, I would get so agitated when the driver would blatantly ignore my requests for the stop that my fellow passengers would start yelling at him (one major difference from Santiago is that if I can't get off the bus at my stop and scream at the driver Santiagouinos don't give a flying f*ck and probably actually get some enjoyment out of it). Usually, then he would stop in the awkward little ditch right before the bus would turn onto the highway to leave Mérida. Safe.

Never once on a bus in Santiago have I had to decide whether to hold on for dear life hanging out the door of the bus which was chugging up a mountain, or to hold down my skirt, which due to the wind was flying up to my ears. I chose life and everyone got a good glimpse of my underwear.

Another city where I was surprised by the bad public transportation (but maybe I shouldn't have been) was Rome. The metro lines A and B crossed the city in a big X, so anything in the middle was accessible only by foot, car, or bus. Of course, I despise buses and I had no car, so I chose foot. I was complaining one day to a friend and he said "Well, every time they try to build a new line they find ruins. Nice problem to have, right?" Yeh...foot in mouth. Thanks.

Then, if you look at a city like Minneapolis that has one light rail line called the Hiawatha line (maybe because they intended to, you know, build another one to compare it with) and it's slow and if you want to go anywhere that's not on that line you have to take a bus--which do not come nearly as frequently as in Santiago (schedules are for losers!).

So while I will probably continue to complain about Transantiago and the fact that I can't comfortably ride without molesting my fellow passengers or punching them in the face, take it with a grain of salt. The BIP cards, stop indicator buttons, and crazy, fast traffic ensure that you'll will most likely get to your destination on time with little interaction with the driver who is secretly listening to his MP3 in one ear. No screaming, no getting let off in ditches, no walking (although walking is good for your health), and best of all no showing your underwear to half to freaking city. All in all, Transantiago really isn't all that bad. Now, if they could just fix their budget deficit and address those complaints of corruption...